What is NLP?
NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming, and I often describe NLP by saying that it is a tool...a tool to understand any unhelpful patterns we may be creating unconsciously in our lives, and to enhance or alter our patterns of thought, behaviour and emotion so to become the best version of ourselves.
So what does NLP have to do with Fruit and Vegetables?
I wanted to share some NLP skills on this blog that can help improve situations with getting children to eat fruit and vegetables - NLP can be used in any situation, for anyone - not just in coaching sessions!
Not only will you be equipped with great recipes and food ideas, you will also know how to positively influence your children through the use of body language and words!
So here is the first tip...
Tip #1: Building Rapport
You cannot lead and positively influence your child if you do not have rapport with them. Rapport is a sense of trust, a common ground, a connection which can be increased by a few simple steps.
First, a few things to take into consideration when building rapport are…
Be genuine – If you’re not genuine they will pick up on it
Be curious – Ask them questions, find out who they really are and how their brain works
Step into their shoes - Aim to see the world from their point of view
Body Language - adopt an open posture, subtly matching and mirroring your child's body language.
This means if you want to talk to them about the importance of vegetables, get down to their level physically so you can communicate at eye level to gain better results. You will come accross as more welcoming, friendly and less threatening.
Notice how differently your child will react if you stand over them with your arms crossed compared to talking to them at eye level with a friendly expression and posture.
Voice And Language - adopt a friendly way of speaking, subtly matching and mirroring your child's voice and language.
This means if you want to talk to them about the importance of vegetables, use language that they understand and also deliver it in a way that they understand.
Notice how differently your child will react if you shout and demand that they eat their vegetables compared to using a similar pace, tone and words to what they use?
PACE: Start by aiming to see the world from their point of view
RAPPORT: Build rapport between you
LEAD: Now you have the opportunity to positively influence them
One more thing to mention is your state. You cannot positively influence your children if you are in a negative state, and by state I mean feeling unhappy, sad, angry or irritable.
93% of communication is non-verbal!
Notice how differently the each of following two examples play out...
a) Parent is feeling angry and irritable, because of this they may stand over their child and demand that they eat their vegetables, they may have also adopted a crossed arms posture or tapping their foot, a harsh tone of voice and stern words...how willing do you think the child is to cooperate in this situation?
b) Parent is feeling optimistic and motivated, because of this they may to get down to the child's eye level and explain why eating their vegetables are important, they also may choose to use words that the child understands, a friendly expression and acknowledge the child's feelings...how willing do you think the child is to cooperate in this situation?
Your thoughts→ Your behaviour/physiology→ Communicated to other
Whatever you think will be communicated to others on some level. By thinking positive thoughts you will start to feel more positive. By feeling more positive you will start to behave in a positive way through your choice of words and body language, therefore gaining a more positive reception from others.
Try it and see what happens!
